Falling in love is for most of us easy and fast. The chemical reactions just happen, and from then onwards is more and more happiness.
But is that easy? Falling in love is just on of the three phases of love – and the easiest one, of course. What happens after being in love fades? From that point, there are just two ways. One is progress, the other one is deterioration.
So, here are the three phases of love:
1. Falling in love.
The first phase of love is the most beautiful of them all. Finding love isn’t an easy process either, and more and more people use psychic love readings online for finding the true love. That means palm reading, clairvoyance, tarot cards, numerology, astrology, or the pendulum usage.
But as we find love – either in the first second after we see a person or through years of getting to know each other -, we experience the physical symptoms of this feeling. And the rest of it comes along, like excitement and fantasies, obsessive or intrusive thinking of the other person, but also the fear of rejection.
All the excitement of this first phase brings a lot of hormones, like oxytocin and pheromones, and many sensations, like poor judgement which makes people ignore red flags.
This honeymoon stage brings lots of kissing, holding hands, having sex and other types of euphoric manifestations. Anyway, when all this begins to fade, there is the next stage.
2. Building trust.
After all those sensations add up for each lover in part, there are questions that arise. Most of them are related to trust – being there anytime, loving no matter what, sheer trust and support. Along with these questions come insecurities and this is a turning point for many relations.
Fights are inevitable, and the future of relations is based on what the output of those fights will be. There must be five times more positive than negative things in a relation for a couple to remain together through the conflicts.
Communication and listening without judgement and toxicity are vital aspects, and so are caring about the partner and knowing which is his/her best interest. Both of them have to be aware of what is troubling the other, must have tolerance, must understand, must accept flaws, must compromise, and have empathy.
At this stage, the couples will encounter lots of regret, anger, disappointment, and all the pain that comes with it. After getting through this individualization phase, in which the positive projections are tempered by reality, and differences and imperfections surface, there is the third and final phase of love.
3. Building loyalty and commitment.
Loyalty and commitment make the relation go to a deeper love which can last a lifetime. At this point, the partners must have the sense that the power in the relations is fairly distributed.
This stage should be a steady, secure, and comfortable one, in which the partners accept all their shortcomings. Now, it all builds up to a long-lasting relation and later a family even though break-ups can still occur, although rarely.
This is the moment when we can talk about mature love, when conflicts and instability are way more reduced than in the previous stage. And, as the two become very familiar to each other, romance, great sex, and butterflies may come back as they were in the first phase.
One thing is for sure: For a relationship to be a long-lasting love, both of them have to work together every day, even if things tend to get “boring” after some years and some sparks are gone. But, then again, one great piece of advice is to not quit after all the beginning fun is over. Loving someone unconditionally and working on it, even when is difficult or they have a bad time or are hard to love, is the real thing. Bottom line, what is built with effort is lasting.