Marriage is intended to be forever – that’s what church, society, and your parents say. That’s why ending it for whatever reason cannot be an easy decision. Even though divorce is nothing new in modern society, both men and women feel ashamed when suggesting it to their spouse.
Getting a divorce feels like a personal failure. You said ‘I Do’ in front of a person you loved so much while hundreds of your friends and relatives were taking photos. And now what?
If you don’t know how divorce works and feel a great need for moral support, you are in the right place. Here is what you need to know when thinking about ending your marriage:
Signs of unhappiness
Certain changes in your relationship can prove that separating from your spouse is a good decision.
The first visible change is the lack of sex. When did you have sex with your partner for the last time? Right.
Sex is one of the main indicators of a healthy, trustworthy relationship. If you don’t have any health problems and you still don’t want to make love to your significant other, it means that you lack intimacy and have some communication gaps in the relationship.
Some people might say that sex in the long-term relationship gets boring over time. There are so many places where you didn’t have sex with your spouse, so many positions, sex toys, and wild dreams. Are you sure you’ve tried it all?
People in a committed relationship don’t stop surprising each other and having satisfying sex.
The second change in your relationship is a lack of communication. If you don’t know what’s happening in your partner’s life and they also are not aware of your recent events, it means that you live with a flatmate who is not even your friend. It is a brutal truth that you have to face.
Another sign of being unhappy in your marriage is leading a double life. Having a life outside of the relationship ( going to a yoga class or traveling with your friends) is a healthy approach. However, if you hide it from your partner, deep down, you understand that you don’t trust them or that you are doing something wrong.
Spending a lovely evening with your colleague is not a big deal, but if you don’t tell your spouse about it, it seems like an emotional affair.
In case you already have occasional sex outside of your marriage, ask yourself this question: Why do I make my life that complicated? Cheating on your partner takes a lot of energy and is not the noblest thing to do.
You can improve your relationship if you and your partner are both interested in doing so. However, if you stopped even trying and you feel indifferent toward your spouse, it means it’s time for a fresh start – alone or with someone else. You deserve to love, be loved, and feel happy when coming back home.
You need to give an answer to one important question: Why are you unhappy in your relationship? Later on, you can discuss it with your spouse. They can either accept it and let you go peacefully, or they can try to fix some things.
Getting a divorce should be a decision of two people, just like getting married. So, talking to your partner about everything that worries you is necessary.
Making the decision
Analyzing your current relationship will help you to understand whether it’s time to leave. There is no need to be stuck in a relationship that doesn’t work anymore.
You might already have a plan. If you imagine your life without your spouse and slowly take some steps to separate from them (like transferring money to a different bank account or looking for a job in a different State), it means that you accepted the fact that your marriage is over.
Your partner should be aware of your feelings. Don’t just take French leave, especially if you have kids, pets, and common property.
Maybe it will be impossible to break up on good terms, but having the last conversation is important. Your spouse deserves to know why this marriage didn’t work for you.
Planning for your future
The future might seem uncertain at this point. You can’t predict whether you’ll meet someone else soon enough or not. Don’t be scared of this uncertainty. Getting divorce also means discovering new possibilities. You will finally have energy, time, and enough self-love to do something you have always wanted.
If you want to avoid feeling lost while separating from your spouse, create a to-do-after-divorce list. You will know that there is no time to regret your decisions.
So, allow yourself to be a happy single!