Co-parenting after divorce may feel like mountain climbing because there is the process of grieving a broken marriage other than providing emotional stability to the kids. Separation is a process that sometimes is messy, with casualties (children) and it’s frustrating and crippling effects hardly go unnoticed.
Children struggle with their feeling of sadness, confusion, and disillusion and you need to indulge your kids in the making up for the loss of the family unit. You can source for reputable lawyers to help in mediation and avoid time-consuming custody battles because every marriage is different. I was privileged to have a good divorce lawyer near me who took the burden off my shoulder by handling matters regarding child support.
Here is a rundown on how to co-parent after divorce:
The first step to getting through a divorce without too much bile, anger, resentment, and hatred is to forgive yourself and your partner for the unfortunate turn of events. Be easy on yourself and make peace with your new situation, embrace compassion for the sake of your children and aim at being the best parents. Negative emotions hold you back, and the pain steals away your personal growth, freedom and a chance at thriving as a happy parent. It is essential to forgive your partner regardless of who was at fault to drive away hostility and maximize the chances of excelling as co-parents.
Resentment for your ex is a huge possibility, but you need to stay focused and attempt to improve in being the best parents to the children during the time they are with you. In the case of custody for the children, the noncustodial parent should honor their word to ensure that the stipulated monthly payment is made without fail to avoid blame games and hostility between parents.
Co-parenting will have your child operating between two homes, and they are bound to interact with a different set of rules in each house. You, therefore, need to adapt with the sense of direction the child complies with after visiting the other parent which, however, is no easy task.
Set Limits for your Children
When parents divorce, children tend to try and take up mediation on their behalf in the hope that the two might get back together. Parents on the other hand might unconsciously be competitive with each other in an attempt to “buy” and “win” the affection of the children. You need to establish ground rules, terms and limits to earn the respect of the children and have a smooth transition during the divorce period.
After the divorce, you are bound to be at loggerheads with each other from time to time, and you need to find strategies to settle your misunderstandings amicably. Be a good listener, in case of a conflict and communicate appropriately and timely for any clarification to avoid hurting each other’s feelings. Apologize for any errors or omissions done to your ex and understand that it is okay for co-parents to agree to disagree and move on once you close that chapter.
After you have settled your scores in court and have done your due diligence as authorized, do the best you can to show up for your children as a united front for their sake.
Your children need co-parenting after divorce and you need to find middle ground that works for both of you and provide undivided attention when you are with them.