Many couples say that there is no bigger game-changer for a relationship than having a baby. Life as you know it will change forever once you become a parent and your child becomes the center of your universe. There are several myths surrounding the role a child plays in a relationship. Some couples that are experiencing problems believe that having a child will strengthen and save their relationship by making them commit to this change of their couple life. Others fear that having a baby can destroy their relationship as they will have to deal with high levels of stress and the demands of parenting. One of the very common reasons people who do not wish to become parents cite is that they value their relationship with their partners and think that having a child will shift that relationship. However, having a child should not challenge your relationship but rather bring you closer to your partner. Read below how to adjust to parenthood while enriching and strengthening your relationship with your partner.
Communication is definitely the most important key to healthy relationships. It is important to share with your partner everything that comes through your mind either it is positive or negative things. You should not expect your partner to be a mind reader and know how to support you through this new challenge. At the same time, you should also be supportive and encourage your spouse to talk openly with you about their expectations, issues, and feelings. Communication is the best way to make you function as a team and adjust to parenthood easier by supporting each other. Talk to your partner about your expectations of yourself and one another as parents. While dads usually expect moms to do everything child-related, moms expect a 50-50 division of labor. Therefore, it is important to be open and honest about your goals and negotiate a realistic plan that will make both of you happy.
Share the pregnancy as a couple
Although the mom-to-be is the one carrying the child for 9 months, the dad has his own responsibilities during pregnancy as well. Sharing the pregnancy as a couple is a very important task. Pregnancy and childbirth can be exhausting both physically and emotionally for women. That is why their partners need to help them every step of the process. The morning sickness, tiredness, hormonal changes, and concerns about the future are difficult to deal with if there is no one there to support you. It is important to discuss openly each other’s expectations and feelings, to help your partner without being asked, to get informed about all the changes that may appear in the mom’s body and about the pregnancy, and show appreciation and love all the time. On the other hand, moms should also allow their partners to be part of the pregnancy, they should not take all the credit for the baby, and should share each moment with their partner.
Give yourself time
Your relationship with one another is also a top priority that you should invest in. In fact, one of the main reasons why there is the myth of babies destroying relationships is due to the fact that new parents forget to give themselves time. Once their baby arrives, they fully commit to all child-related tasks and forget about their intimacy and couple moments. For some couples, becoming a parent can be a time of tiredness and stress that causes them to become distant. This makes the partners feel left out or unloved. It is vital to keep the flame burning between you two and invest exclusively in your couple relationship as well. Tiredness, lack of sex drive, breastfeeding, and postpartum depression may affect the decision of couples to have a healthy sex life. Intimacy and sexual activity are a decision for both of you to make. All you have to do is to put your baby to sleep and take your time just for your couple. Do not let the demands of parenting affect yours and your partner’s sexual needs. Keep the flame burning in your sex life and ensure that you and your partner value and invest in your intimacy.
Work as a team
Adjusting to parenthood is simply going to be a lot easier if you do it together as a team. If one of the partners has to do all the child-related work by themselves, they will eventually start feeling so tired, stressed, and frustrated that the relationship will suffer as well. It is not fair to leave your partner do everything on their own because you have both committed to the decision of becoming parents. No matter how challenging parenthood may seem, if you enter it while holding hands it is going to be one of the most beautiful chapters of your couple life. Try to split the tasks of parenting and housework fairly, ensure that both of you are getting enough sleep, and be kind to each other no matter what. If you give praise, encouragement, and support, your relationship will be strengthened and you will share your success together.
Kids can be plain fun and make you share many laughs with your partner. Certainly, they require a lot of responsibility and commitment to ensure their healthy development. But it does not mean that you can’t enjoy parenting with a smile on your faces. In fact, parenting should be a joyful period of your life. Your child should represent the result of the love that you share with your spouse. Becoming a parent and witnessing all the funny and goofy things that your baby will do as they grow up is a great opportunity for you and your partner to laugh together and enjoy parenthood.
Despite the fears and doubts that may arouse when you are becoming parents, parenthood can definitely strengthen your relationship with your partner if you work together to overcome any challenge.