What to Say When Writing to a Friend or Family Member in Prison

Some people have family members or even friends who have been sent to prison for different types of offenses. One of the ways of connecting with such family members or friends is through the use of letters.


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Letters are among the ways you can use to make your jailed friends and family members feel closer to home.

This can be an encouraging and refreshing experience for them. Even though some people prefer using websites such as Loveaprisoner and Meet-an-Inmate, writing letters is also amazing for prisoners.

However, do you know what to write or how to get started? Very few people write letters today, especially due to advancements in technology. This means that it can get challenging especially for the modern generation to write a physical letter.


How To Get Started: Contact Details of The Prisoner

Before you can send a letter to your friend or family member, you first need to find their contact details in prison. You will need to have the full name of the inmate, their booking number or inmate ID, and the physical address of the facility where they are incarcerated.

Through the use of a CT prisoner lookup, you can find the contact details of the inmate. You can run this search by state, especially for those that do not know where their loved ones are incarcerated – for example, you can search for prisoners in Connecticut using the first and last name of the person you want to write the letter to.

On the other hand, those that know where their loved ones are incarcerated can search at the specific institution. This will provide them with their (the loved ones) contact details.

What Should You Say?

The first important thing to note when writing a letter to an inmate is that there is not a wrong or right when deciding how to write the letter. You can choose to hand write the letter or even type and print it on a computer or seek out a top expert from thesis writing service.

In the letter, you can talk about several things, among them;

Telling Them About How Life is Outside Prison

Even though some people think that telling prisoners about life outside prisoners is bad and might make them (the prisoners) hate themselves and miss life outside, most prisoners want to learn about the things happening on the outside. They want to keep informed.

Include Open-Ended Questions

You also need to ask them open-ended questions that will allow them to give you free-form answers when replying to your letter. This could include questions like how they are spending their time in prison, how things are going for them, and if there is anything that you could send them.

Share News With Them

Since the person you are writing to is a family member or a friend, chances are that you both have mutual friends.

You can, therefore, share news about these friends or even other family members. However, be careful to only share positive news since you do not want to be adding to the stress that the inmate already has.

Remind Them About Happy Times

Of course, there are times you did things with the inmate that made both of you happy. You might even have traveled together and had fun while at it. Remind them about these moments and tell them how you look forward to more when they get out of prison.

If it is your lover, you might be feeling sorry for them. You can find the best ways to say sorry to them in the letter or even when you get a chance to visit them in prison.

Talk About Your Hobbies

If there is a hobby that you share with the inmate, something that you used to do together, you can talk about it.

You can tell them how you are still doing it and looking forward to doing it with them. However, be careful not to make them feel jealous of you. The point is to make them happy.

Tell Them How Often You Will Write to Them

Prisoners love getting letters from their loved ones. It makes them feel appreciated and reminds them that their friends and family members still think about them despite the offense that got them to prison.

You can, therefore, tell them that you will be writing to them quite often. However, if you know that you will not write again, you still need to tell them so that they can prepare for life without hearing from you.


Even though writing a letter to a friend or family member can take some time especially when thinking about what to write, it plays a crucial role in helping them cope with life in prison. If you do not know what to say in the letter, then you can follow the guidelines in this article.


Welcome to the Night Helper Blog. The Night Helper Blog was created in 2008. Since then we have been blessed to partner with many well-known Brands like Best Buy, Fisher Price, Toys "R" US., Hasbro, Disney, Teleflora, ClearCorrect, Radio Shack, VTech, KIA Motor, MAZDA and many other great brands. We have three awesome children, plus four adorable very active grandkids. From time to time they too are contributors to the Night Helper Blog. We enjoy reading, listening to music, entertaining, travel, movies, and of course blogging.

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