Let’s start off this article by saying this is not a quick fix guide. There’s no easy way to get past the emotions after losing a child. Whether you lost a grown up child or had a miscarriage, the pain is unbearable.
But people do get through it. Perhaps I should say they wrestle through it because it’s never an easy road. But individuals find ways to gather enough strength to keep going.
Let’s look a bit further than simply listing the ‘5 Stages of Grief’.
What can we learn from people who have made it? Can their skills help alleviate some of the burden you’re feeling if you’ve lost someone close to you? I hope the thoughts shared below will make your journey slightly more bearable.
Look After Yourself
Everything around you crashes, but you don’t want to cause lasting damage to yourself. And that can happen if you don’t look after yourself.
Care for yourself for these three reasons:
– You need physical strength to deal with bereavement.
– At some stage you will feel better and perhaps even positive about life again. Make sure your body will be able to carry on with the new chapter in your life.
– Your immediate family also grieves and may need you.
For this reason, those that know advise you to:
– Keep hydrated. If you faint from dehydration the ordeal will be worse for you and your loved ones.
– Eat regular meals so you have energy to deal with emotions, funeral logistics and visitors.
– Sleep a lot because it helps your body recuperate. A death is as traumatic as major physical injuries, so your body needs to heal too.
Put Life on Hold… and then Begin Again
Your instinct may be to simply stop all your normal routines. For a while, this is an excellent option. You shouldn’t keep to a schedule or make important decisions at work or home. You can’t focus, so it’s actually risky.
But this can’t carry on forever. Here you need some self discipline. Decide on a date when you will return to normal routines.
Use the People Around You
And what do you do in the time off from work and routines? The answer should include people.
Are you the only immediate family member to your child, or are there siblings or a life partner that also grieve? It’s important you don’t allow distance between you, so spend time together.
You may hate depending on others as much as I do, but your friends want to be there for you. Allow them to love you and be the people you express your emotions to. Feelings won’t dissipate if you keep them inside.
Find Coping Mechanisms
Is there an effective way to deal with all those emotions?
No, they won’t disappear overnight. But a time will come when you wake up and realize the feeling of dread has lifted, even if only slightly.
And these coping mechanisms can help you get there.
You must realize the magnitude of the stress you underwent. There’s a good chance you suffer from PTSD. The only way you prevent this from affecting the rest of your life, is to get professional help.
Counsellors and therapist will help you face emotions and teach you coping skills so you don’t have anxiety attacks at work or withdraw from society.
Many parents have found solace in acquiring Reborn Babies. Of course these life-like dolls can’t replace a lost child, but it can give parents a way of dealing with challenges:
– Care for this baby when you’re overcome by the need to hold your child
– Fill up physical space—such as a crib—so the shock of an empty home is minimized
– Have a tangible object to look at and hold when emptiness overwhelms you
Whether as a temporary solution or a doll to keep forever, Reborn Babies have helped parents grieve. If you want to choose from a wide variety of reborns, you can visit reborn-dolls-for-sale.com. The site offers free worldwide shipping and have a very friendly support that will help you choose the best doll for you.
Honor the Memory
You’re overcome with the sadness that your child will never fulfill his or her potential and make a mark in this world. So why don’t you do it on their behalf?
– Make a donation in his or her name to a charity
– Create a website to showcase precious moments of the past
– Celebrate future birthdays instead of living in denial about how much you miss them on special days
Perhaps you think grieving will bring you to a place of not thinking about your lost child. But the goal is to have the memories as part of your days, without it hurting and debilitating you so much as they do now. Perhaps you have coping methods of your own? Please share them with others by commenting.