How Parents Can Talk to Their Teen About Drunk Driving

Watching your teenager reach driving age can bring a mixture of excitement and worry. Getting a driver’s license represents independence for them, but as parents, we also understand the responsibility that comes with being behind the wheel.

One conversation that should happen before a teen starts driving on their own is about alcohol and impaired driving.

It may not be the easiest subject to bring up, especially when your teen insists they already know the rules. But this isn’t a conversation that needs to begin with accusations or assumptions. It can simply be part of teaching them how to become a responsible driver.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, parents have an important influence on their teen’s driving behavior. That makes what we say important, but what our kids see us doing behind the wheel matters too.

Start the Conversation Before There’s a Problem

Don’t wait until you suspect your teen has been drinking or until something happens at a party.

Talk about impaired driving while you’re teaching everyday driving skills. Discuss it while practicing driving, talking about getting a license, or going over your family’s rules for using the car.

When the conversation happens as part of learning to drive safely, it doesn’t have to feel like an interrogation.

You might start by asking your teen what they would do if they were at a party and the person who was supposed to drive them home started drinking.

Their answer can open the door to a much bigger conversation.

Make Your Expectations Clear

Teens shouldn’t have to guess what the family rules are when it comes to drinking and driving.

Be clear that driving after drinking isn’t acceptable and neither is getting into a vehicle with someone who has been drinking.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that even small amounts of alcohol can impair a teen’s driving ability and increase crash risk.

This isn’t about trying to scare your teenager. It’s about helping them understand that alcohol and driving are a dangerous combination.

Give Your Teen a Safe Way Out

This may be one of the most important conversations we can have with our kids.

Tell your teenager that if they ever find themselves somewhere they don’t feel safe, they can call you.

Maybe they made a bad decision. Maybe their friend started drinking. Maybe the person who promised to drive everyone home isn’t safe to drive.

Whatever happened, your teen needs to know that getting home safely comes first.

Consider creating a family rule that says:

There can be a conversation about what happened afterward. At that moment, however, the priority should be preventing them from getting into a dangerous vehicle.

Talk About Riding With Someone Who Has Been Drinking

We sometimes focus so much on telling teens not to drink and drive that we forget about another dangerous situation: being the passenger.

Your teen might not drink at all and still end up standing beside a car driven by someone who has.

According to the CDC, some high school students report riding with drivers who had been drinking.

Make sure your teenager understands that refusing a ride is always an option.

They can call you, another trusted adult, or arrange another safe way home rather than taking the chance.

Talk About Peer Pressure Before It Happens

Peer pressure isn’t always someone standing there saying, “Come on, do it.”

Sometimes it’s much quieter.

A teenager may simply feel embarrassed about being the person who refuses to get into the car. They might worry their friends will laugh at them or think they’re overreacting.

Talk through those situations ahead of time.

Help your teen understand that they don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting themselves.

A simple “I’m getting another ride” is enough.

Create a Family Driving Agreement

One way to make expectations clear is to put them in writing.

The CDC Parent Teen Driving Agreement is designed to help families establish rules and expectations for new drivers.

Your family’s agreement might include rules such as:

• No drinking and driving
• No riding with an impaired driver
• Always wear a seat belt
• No texting or using a phone while driving
• Follow speed limits
• Follow household passenger restrictions
• Follow nighttime driving restrictions
• Call home when a safe ride is needed

You can also establish consequences ahead of time for breaking those rules.

The goal isn’t to create a giant list of punishments. It’s to make sure everyone understands the expectations before your teen gets the keys.

Don’t Forget About Drugs and Medications

Impaired driving isn’t limited to alcohol.

Some drugs and medications can also interfere with safe driving. That can include marijuana, illegal drugs, certain prescription medications and some over the counter medicines.

Teach your teen to read medication warnings and ask a doctor or pharmacist when they’re unsure whether a medication can affect driving.

The CDC’s impaired driving guidance reminds drivers that prescription and over the counter medications can sometimes affect the ability to drive safely.

Set the Example Yourself

This part can sometimes be harder for adults because teenagers notice more than we think they do.

If we tell them never to use a phone while driving but they see us texting at a stoplight, they’re going to notice.

If we tell them not to drive after drinking but they watch an adult have several drinks and then grab the car keys, they’re going to notice that too.

Safe driving habits should apply to everyone in the family.

Wear your seat belt. Put the phone down. Follow traffic laws. And if you’ve been drinking or are otherwise impaired, don’t drive.

Our actions reinforce the conversations we’re having with our kids.

Know Where Your Teen Is Going

As teenagers become more independent, it’s still reasonable for parents to know where they’re going, who they’re going with and when they’re expected home.

If they’re going to a party, ask who is driving.

If plans change, ask them to check in.

This isn’t necessarily about following their every move. It’s about having enough information to help if something goes wrong.

Keep Talking After They Get Their License

Getting a driver’s license shouldn’t end the conversation.

New situations will come up as teens gain more independence. They may start driving at night, taking friends places, attending parties, going to school events or driving farther away from home.

Those changes give parents opportunities to revisit family driving rules.

Ask questions.

Listen to what your teenager says.

Talk about situations they’ve encountered on the road and how they handled them.

A five minute conversation every now and then can sometimes be more effective than one huge lecture.

Let Them Know You Are Always a Phone Call Away

Teenagers are going to make mistakes. That’s part of growing up.

What we don’t want is for fear of getting in trouble to cause them to make an even more dangerous decision.

If your teenager calls late at night because they need a safe ride, that phone call means they recognized a dangerous situation and reached out for help.

Go get them.

You can discuss everything else once everyone is safely home.

One Conversation Can Make a Difference

Talking with your teenager about drunk driving doesn’t require the perfect speech.

It requires honesty, clear expectations and an open line of communication.

Tell them not to drink and drive. Tell them not to ride with someone who has been drinking. Give them a plan for getting home safely, and make sure they know they can use that plan without worrying about what their friends think.

Most importantly, continue having these conversations as your teenager becomes a more experienced driver.

Handing over the car keys is a big parenting moment. Along with teaching our teens how to park, merge and navigate the road, we also have an opportunity to teach them something even more important: getting home safely should always come first.