When you get married you undertake a commitment to stay with someone for the rest of your life. This can be challenging and sometimes proves to be impossible. In fact the rate of divorce in 2013 was 2.1 per 1000 resident population. The number has been steadily declining for years.
Divorce is tough on both sides and can be especially hard for the children. Unfortunately the process can be severely lengthened and the stress factor upped because couples insist on playing the blame game.
What Is the Blame Game.
When you decide that the marriage is no longer viable you need to slit the assets and liabilities of both parties evenly. This may not be a 50:50 split if there are children involved that need supporting or other mitigating factors.
It is possible to simply say the relationship has failed. After 12 months of separation you can apply for a ‘no fault’ divorce which should be granted. Of course, you’ll need to decide the split of the assets but you can get a professional negotiator or a good lawyer, such as ACFL to assist with this.
But, if one party has wronged the other or they are attempting to get a larger share of the assets then you may wish to say it is a fault divorce.
In effect, you will be blaming your partner for the breakup of your marriage. Common reasons are adultery, unreasonable behavior or desertion.
Unfortunately as soon as one party starts to blame the other there becomes tension and it is nearly impossible to reach an amicable solution.
Why The Blame Game
The blame game can be because you feel genuinely wronged by your partner or because you don’t want to wait a year to get divorced.
But, even if your partner has committed adultery and you file for a fault divorce there is no guarantee they will agree with you. Your partner may have their own reasons why they felt it was necessary or unavoidable.
Court Battles Are The Ultimate Result
Once you’ve started the blame game it is usually for hurtful comments to be made which make it very difficult to negotiate pleasantly with each there; even with professional negotiators present.
If you can’t reach an agreement on the assets then you cannot finalize any divorce proceedings. Court becomes the only option. They can decide if blame is present and apportion it and you assets for you.
However, the real winners will be the lawyers who earn money from representing you. All you will have achieved is to reduce your assets, increase the bitterness between you and expend valuable court time dealing with your divorce. This time could be spent dealing with criminals or other matters.
Even if you are the partner that has been wronged it may be better to simply file for no blame. This will help your relationship with your partner which may be important if you have children. It will also speed up the process; prevent you from high legal bills and allow you to move on with your life.
A good lawyer will be happy to help you resolve the asset issues and file for divorce for a minimal fee with the minimal amount of fuss. This is often the best route if both parties can move past their pride.